soliloquy

2008-11-26T20:29:00.001+08:00

i'm alive but I’m losing all my drive cause everything were been through and everything about you
seemed to be a lie a guiltless twisted lie it made me learn to hate you or hate myself for letting it pass by

2008-09-27T01:14:00.003+08:00

whoever said changes are good?
i hate changes. i hate new things because it means i have to unlearn and relearn.
it means i have to let go of something familiar.
the new facebook format really is dreadful and strange.
blogger is annoying me too with all that nonsense about upgrading of template and only allowing us to choose from a pathetic variety of awful designs. i had to revert to classic template just to get this design up. BUT reverting also means i have trouble installing my haloscan comments! it's really upsetting and annoying at the same time. ARGH. i really want my haloscan backkk ):
not to mention, there's something wrong with my archives too.
HELP ANYONE?? html/web page experts?
i shouldnt have skip all those weeks of my computer science lessons. it MIGHT actually make a difference. shit.

2008-09-12T23:29:00.002+08:00

I'd like to run away from you. But if I were to leave you I would die.
I'd like to break the chains you put around me. And yet I'll never try

No matter what you do you drive me crazy. I'd rather be alone
But then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you are gone

Impossible to live with you. But I could never live without you

You make me sad. You make me strong
You make me mad. You make me long for you

You make me live. You make me die
You make me laugh. You make me cry for you

You treat me wrong. You treat me right
You let me be. You make me fight with you

You make me high. You bring me down
You set me free. You hold me bound to you

I hate you. Then I love you
Then I love you
Then I hate you
Then I love you more
For whatever you do
I never, never, never

Want to be in love with anyone but you.

pavarotti/celine

♥

happy 3 months babylove

2008-09-07T02:06:00.004+08:00

10 random facts:

1. it's 2.07am and i am craving for cornflakes & pancakes. breakfast anyone?

2. during introduction in COMM class, bella was made to describe me and so she said: this is mel and her birthday is on the 12 of june. She's a walking contradiction (pauses) ...but a very intelligent cheerleader.
the entire lecture room roared and cheered. WHAT NOW.

3. i forced baby to watch gossip girl and it turns out that he got addicted, finishing season 1 in less than a week.

4. to frolick i go? if successful, please drop by & visit (kiv)

5. 5 more days to

6. i had a nasty eye infection, recovering with no avail from a very persistent sore throat and is currently nursing an ulcer on my lip

7. what should i wear for wedding at four seasons tomorrow?

8. i miss rhonda tan. BFFN WE NEED TO TALK.

9. WHO'S FEELING RICH? sponsor me a miumu/chanel/burberry wallet? feel free to drop me a mail, wall me on fb or to make things alot easier, just call (:
ps: I LOVE YOU!

10. i still want my cornflakes and pancakes.

):

2008-09-02T22:55:00.005+08:00

2 fridays back,

i must say, i'm quite pleased. all BT, FT and TP have been neatly polished off on first attempt.
congratulate me, wont you? (:

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

school started a week back and i'm already having my first test on psychology the day after tomorrow. i see a serious need to start detaching myself from the old world where day slips into night and every single day has been just hours broken up into different segments. Just a few dust bunnies left to sweep under the rug...and i'm all ready.

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

2008-08-25T23:30:00.025+08:00

How i spent my last few weeks counting down to first day of school on the 25th.

Taboo with the usuals

addie's 48th birthday pre-celebration at zouk

Autumn nights, it seems,

are long by repute alone

scarcely had we met

when morning’s first light appeared,

leaving everything unsaid.

i can hardly believe it but it's already our 2nd month (:
a lovely evening spent at Shangri-la. i must say, the spread of food there was fascinating. desserts were...to put simply, pure bliss. not surprising to have The Line living up to its name as the supposed 'mother of all buffets'.
to think i nearly suffered from a panic attack as i rushed to get everything ready for baby's surprise. but it was cute seeing him sitting across the table in silence, with the slightest hint of a smile, trying to take in every detail of the surprise.

2008-08-19T13:34:00.002+08:00

Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything

Everything I'm not.

- The Veronicas

I'm not perfect. Just all messed up.

2008-08-08T23:44:00.004+08:00

so much has happened since july and i dont know where i should begin. before i know it, august has crept up on me and that spells a final 3 weeks till school officially starts. has summer melted away at such great speed? how did it get late so soon? but i'm feeling good these days. the kind of good that i've long forgotten how it must feel. it's strange how a twist of fate can throw me off my supposed path and usher in new beginnings. although i do not deny, tough days are awaiting. i can only pray that this affection we share is strong enough to see us through.

alright that's enough musing. back to some solid details of what has been going on in my mundane life, occasionally peppered with interesting events to keep me hanging on till the 25th.

work with rhonda dear @ the Asian Food Delight 2008, Singapore Expo Hall
from 1st-3rd august.
baby came early in the morning to pick me up for work. he isnt exactly a morning person to begin with, so i really appreciate it (:
nothing much happened during work just that we both were hot & bothered by noon although i must say, highlight of that day was definitely:
I LOST MY FREAKING WALLET ):
how upsetting really and i just hope the person who stole it to suffer sleepless nights, get food poisoning, fall into the toilet bowl or anything.
))))):
now i have to get myself a new wallet, replace everything important. already i have half a mind to not have my IC done, it costs like a hundred bucks?! and for what, to make myself look awful/ black & white on a sheet of plastic? At least they should provide some kind of photoshop-ping service for that exorbitant price they're charging.
i am upset, STILL.

baby made my day by springing up unannounced at my workplace the next day. We were messaging.

M: I am so tired... ): what're you doing now dear?
J: Watching tv what else. haha. how's your flyer? have you had your lunch?

I was miserable and all lethargic, i remember and could hardly bother with surroundings. I've yet to reply to his message either. And thats when he crept up from behind me, instantly chasing them blues away. I never felt so happy/relieved seeing him, think i literally jumped into his arms. haha. so much for watching tv my dear (:
the silly boy repeated his little trick but with a slightly different excuse on my last day of work too. this time around, it was "i'm drinking coffee" and next thing i knew, he was right behind me.

A SHORT VIDEO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMcEB8sfXYA
rhon took it while we were goofing around at work. as always, WATCH IN HIGH QUALITY.

thank you baby! you have no idea how much you made work easier to endure. and rhonrhon, it was fun working with you & bitching about everything current. i'm glad those days at work allowed us time to do some good catching up. keep your chin up girl! a fresh beginning is just around the corner.

2nd august, baby's mom/grandma invited me along for his grandfather 75th birthday celebration. At 7pm i found myself sitting down at a private dinner held at Noble House. Great food, friendly people & amusing entertainment helped calm some nerves. His dad was seriously hilarious & an awesome host at that. Oh not forgetting, i had to walk up front and using the microphone, give my blessings to his grandfather like how all the other grandkids did. We were reminded to be creative so it was horrible being the last because everything else has been said!
At the end of that night, i was as known as the cat because dear grandma couldn't pronounce my name ):

this entry shall come to an abrupt end because i'm feeling drained from such tedious updates.
for more photos, to facebook you go.

mel, out.

2008-07-18T20:03:00.004+08:00

it's been more than a month since my birthday. photos are up on fb so the right people will be able to see them. and, here are the videos of that night.

get to the youtube website & REMEMBER TO WATCH IT IN HIGH QUALITY! (:

and i pieced the rest of the short clips together

x

2008-06-26T01:22:00.003+08:00

and off i am again, to all time fav BKK (:
will be back a week later
i suppose i'll upload the photos from my pre birthday bash after my trip
so...
toodles! (:

ps: damn i love my grandad

2008-05-26T04:38:00.000+08:00

i feel so much right now, but i can't get anything out.
it takes alot to learn how to fly with such a heavy heart
so, i'm young and a fool nonetheless

this month has been crazy with the many supper outings.
it's after midnight and we're almost always chilling at favourite spot HKC. and when the east coast becomes a little too overwhelming, it's geylang for dim sum, or tau huay, or beef horfun. not to mention, some lorong 8 to 24 cruising for the boys. unbecoming really. then there's the occasional trip down to changi v for some trans-spotting. or just driving around with J's insane head-bobbing to ABBA blasting over the stereo, only successfully driving eugene mad cos he wants 4 minutes so damn badly. it's amusing how he'd do anything to stop J from playing dancing queen.
oh and did i mention that i've somehow managed to get myself locked out of my own house twice, in less than a month? twice. what's worse is that i can actually get through the main gates but not INTO my home. doesnt anyone care where i disappear to anymore?
yesterday at 3am, J had us breaking into a forbidden garden up on the 10th floor in town. tricking the guard and making a break for the lift= a way wicked adrenalin rush.
a pity wibi's mr policeman-to-be. but it's all good cos sir wibi prolly saved our asses from ending up in the guard dogs' salivating jaws.
i'm pretty certain J was kidding about the dogs.

hitting the sack after 5am and waking only when it's time for lunch for consecutive days spells i am so fucking screwed.

melbourne in 2 days i cannot wait.

i wish you love

2008-05-18T14:44:00.005+08:00

then you knocked
i chose to open the door and let you in

remember when you were young,
and mommy used to say:
never open the door to strangers
because they'd come in and take everything precious
i thought she meant cash
or credit cards or all of my blings

turns out that i thought wrong
or could it be that mommy forgot to mention?
so i grew up not knowing,
not expecting.
that the precious could actually be,
my heart

nobody said that opening that door when strangers knock would turn out this way.
nobody said that they would whiz in cool & calm, taking your heart away.
nobody said that after that, they would always walk away, leaving you helpless on the floor
just like how you were to begin with

tell me what do you do?

2008-05-17T07:14:00.002+08:00

and in the end they always leave

2008-05-01T23:44:00.009+08:00

breathe. smile. and you'll do fine.

2008-04-30T14:12:00.015+08:00

a falling star, at least i fall alone

life's been mellow:

i'm done with working
became a very broke kid
on a not so talking term with ~~the parents~~ dad
still torn between the free state & down under
drinking way too much
damn the gastric juices
body clock cries foul
emotion is dead.

so, here's some photos from WJ's 19th surprise at swissotel 4 days back

the walls abandon shape
they've got a cheshire cat grin
all blurring into one

2008-04-04T23:17:00.015+08:00

DAY 04

walked the streets of mongkok where we found great buys at argyle and regretted not having more time/days to finish the entire area like we did at kimberly. i guess we could only blame on our fabulous sleeping patterns.

the cleaning lady came knocking repeatedly on our door, a barely awake and irritated mel crawled out of bed and yanked the door open. very obviously, we werent awake much less ready for room freakin service so she apologised and left. i was on my way to crawling back in bed, muttering to myself & to maybe to maine if she was awake.
'why does the stupid lady have to come so early every morning? she always have to wake me up lah...grumble grumble grumle.' (it is true, she has been doing that to me for the past 3 mornings)
then a half asleep maine mumbled from under the blanket 'what time is it now?' i reached for my phone, squinted at the numbers,
'fuck it's 12.30'

you notice a pattern too? i've been reporting the same waking-up issue for my past 2 entries. not that i like repeating myself but it has been a vicious cycle. my dear tai tais! no more missing out on mornings when we get to bangkok, taiwan & japan okayy? (:

so i say, hongkong: a total fab place. the weather? awesome. a perfect range of 15-19 degrees. we've walked everywhere, shopped alot, ate plenty, and definitely, sleeping takes the cake.
oh and the peak, i cannot forget the mesmerizing night scenery. that wind! it was way crazy up there because we were screaming shivering jumping and laughing so hard as we ran all the way across the platformto save our freezing asses. WJ dared us to stick our faces over the panel and look down. he's totally right, it felt like committing suicide.

2008-03-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

DAY 03

click on the tiny x to minimize the music popup (:

- we did disneyland! :D
- swore to rise at latest 0830 so we could hit the magical kingdom bright & early
- embarrassed to say, we failed miserably. 12 noon, AGAIN!!
- ginger milk beancurd for brunch
- the relatively long journey before we reached sunny bay (apt!)
- omg the cute disney train!
- omg DISNEYLAND!!
- the wonderful feeling hits & every bit of negative spirit in you dissipates
- you feel like a kid all over again

then again, it doesnt mean your childhood memories retain....
like for example, when mel saw this cartoon dog mascot walking across the street, she points and exclaims hysterically to eli & gang (and probably the whole crowd queuing behind her) "omg look! goofy! goofy!!" everyone got excited.
5 secs later, someone said,
" eh mel. isnt it PLUTO??"

i've memorised: PLUTO IS THE BROWN ONE.

- fireworks that night was amazing, breathtaking.
- a whole new world keeps playing in my head for the rest of the night

2008-03-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

I’m sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’ll be the reason for your pain
and you can put the blame on me

things are not going to be the same
but there's love, always

2008-03-09T00:25:00.020+08:00

back from a 5days 4 nights holiday in Hongkong with my girls (and one very useful boy)!

WJ proved himself to be the luggage carrier, our 'meals payer', a bodyguard, the sit-in-front-with-cab-driver boy and not forgetting, everyone's lub sab tong cos the girls order everything but hardly finish anything. WJ, you the man! (:

DAY 01

- eli and WJ checked in at 12 freaking am for a 6am flight due to certain constraints
- i overslept, woke up at 4.10am & worked myself into a frenzy
- threw things randomly into my luggage and head for the airport sans (eye)makeup
- maine and i boarded the plane successfully but realized our cams werent living it up
- the absence of cam whoring moments till we meet eli at HK airport
- touch down at approx 1030 (: = burst of exhilaration
- we hung around diligently at the stated waiting area but panicked after 20mins of waiting with no other groups in sight still
- called the HK based agency & viola, found ourselves safe & snug in our transport to the hotel
- checked in upon arrival
- scurried to our room to freshen up and paint our faces, ready for HK's vibrant night life
- MTR our way down to central to hit the shops
- our failed attempt to find a place to yum cha, the first aim on maine's HK to-do list.
- H&M!
- dinner at yung kee resturant famous for their heavenly roasted goose, so good that everyone bought at least one whole goose home on our last day. i think eli and WJ shared 7 between themselves and if i'm not wrong, one stupid goose costs 80SGD and weighs almost the same as 2 litres of water. oh and not forgetting the 6-7 roasted pigeons the rest bought home too. how bad the damage? the couple had to buy a new luggage just so they could fit in all their tasty feathered friends
- finally when the lights has gone down and along with the crowd, we proceed to lan kwai fong, home to most of hk's clubs & pubs. i'm totally lovin the place with its cheerful warren of western-style restaurants, nightclubs, delicatessens and bars. a must for night owls and people watchers! without a doubt, it is hong kong's trendiest and most buzzing nightlife area.
- the couple left slightly after midnight while maine and i stayed behind for some club hopping. perks of being tourists? we got free entry & drinks almost everywhere we went. volar!
- pure freakin madness as we danced till 3 in the morning.
- the bouncers + bartenders were great great people. singapore's badass bouncers ought to liven up and take a leaf out of the HK bouncers' book.

HIGHLIGHTS OF DAY 01

DAY 02

- after all that hustle & bustle from day 01, we were needless to say, pretty drained
- set alarm at 830am only to find ourselves sleeping till a shocking 12.30pm
- dimsum breakfast thus became our lunch
- tsim sha tsui for a whole afternoon of shopping
- dinner @ macau restaurant and i cannot forget its divine portuguese eggtarts!! the smooth & creamlike egg filing was a perfect match with its pipping hot crust, good enough to melt the heart of non-eggtarts lovers like me
- drinks on mikey the bartender from previous night

HIGHLIGHTS OF DAY 02

more photos up on facebook!

HK day 03,04,05 soon to come (:

2008-02-23T00:53:00.003+08:00

FLYING OFF FOR HK IN 4 HOURS TIME (:
BYE BABIES!!
♥

as i type, eli tan is pigging out at the airport ALREADY
at 1 freaking am.
HAHA cant wait to meet my girls

ps: i will miss you very very much
pps: wish you were here ):

2008-01-28T23:10:00.000+08:00

a piece of advice to a certain species of mankind:
when you seek help from others, dont be cocky. always check if you provide ACCURATE information and when you dont, you've got no one to blame cept yourself. and thats just too bad.
and when you finally manage to get things done, thank your lucky arse and the (unlucky) person whom agreed to help. god forbid you make yourself sound so fucking great.
IN OTHER WORDS, when someone agrees to help, they're not obliged to in case you happen to forget.
so dont say 'i dont need your _____ already'.
say in awe, 'thanks but i think i am no longer so useless!' (we'll cheer for you, really).

2007-12-22T22:42:00.001+08:00

merry xmas everyone!
♥

life's been pretty hectic these weeks and i can barely find time to appear in the virtual world, much less blog. and the wait for photos to be sent over seems like forever. not helping!
anyways, there were events aplenty with which i've been wanting to blog about. and i guess those shall wait till all the photos are collated.

check back soon (:

2007-11-22T01:17:00.000+08:00

my attempt to study with angie today failed terribly
i might have distracted her a hell lot cos she gave up eventually and we ended up heading for ikea!!
my all time fav place for crazy ass screaming at fanciful things & devouring of meatballs + chicken wings+ pouched salmon
omg rhon, i swear the currypuff was weird! it's like all mashed up potatoes, not nice leh ):
you should totally try the soft ice cream! it's cheap icecream thats wayy good.

2007-11-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

zouk flea with my love yesterday
it was packed as usual but i managed to grab a pair of Tbar heels.
boh got herself a pair ULTRA OVERSIZED GEEKY SPECS which is perfect for camwhoring!

i've got love for my geek

anyways, just to rant.
some annoying fashion catastrophe should seriously stop dishing out fashion tips. like if you cant freaking dress ( and i really REALLY mean it), do not for god's sake, advice how others should put their attire together. it makes the whole thing really hilarious. last thing, being FORMAL doesnt = good looking?!
think.

visiting the boys at expo on wed ( i hope)!
prom dress fitting 3 days later!
driving license registration with rhon by this week!

2007-11-13T19:23:00.001+08:00

oh god. 2 more days to the end of ordeal, cant wait! ok fine. although exams technically end on the 26th but still, a 1 week break does make me delirious with joy.
cant wait for prom shopping (:
cant wait for our date at coldrock, rhon!
maine's coming home and her birthday celebration!

meanwhile, i just have to calm down and remind myself that exams are still going on.

anyhoo. i've randomly came across the tv series-
the pussycat doll presents: search for the next doll
yes i know, i'm like wols.
better late than never hey (:
so my point is, MELISSA R is like drop dead hot.
she looks freakily like vanessa hudgens,whom i think is gorgeous no matter what you say (or what she exposes).
AND because melissa r can shake her booty so damn fine, that makes her ten times sexier!

ps: strongly encourage you guys to load the vids completely before watching else the transmission wouldnt be smooth. enjoy (:

2007-10-14T01:16:00.000+08:00

almost everyone gave a little something on the last day of school.
little notes, cards, candy bars, baked brownies
i wasnt exactly sure what kinda special thing i could leave behind,
so i did a short slideshow on impulse.
capturing the two years of our lives, in school and out.
it's not a long period of time but not exactly insignificant either.
despite all our quarrels, misunderstandings, bitching,
i hope we remember the good moments.

i may not be as professional or as smart at it as junwei
but at least i tried my best!! :b
it took me hours to piece everything together and doing the touch ups/ editing
oh and, the lyrics of the songs and the photos DO go together most of the time, so dont forget to listen out!
this's specially dedicated to the gang: rhonda, vanessa, siying, ifan, jingyong and shaowen
you guys! dont forget to leave your comments or I WILL NAG AT YOU TILL THE COWS COME HOME!! :D

ps: it's a little small like this, so click full screen for a better view (:

love,
mel

2007-10-13T01:26:00.000+08:00

how did it get late so soon?
it's night before it's afternoon.
december is here before it's June.
my goodness how the time has flown.
how did it get late so soon?

But dearest friends, alas! must part.

2007-09-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

finally, a breather after the prelim2.
time for a quick and much needed update.

singapore general hospital
block 7, level 8
room 20, bed 4
= my turf for 4 days and 4 nights (:

just so you know, my slip disc got worse on tuesday,
the day before GP prelim2.
a horrible time spent in the school's first aid room coupled with an 'afternoon-mare',leaving me in cold sweat and at the same time, awaking the others with my sudden outburst.
embarrassing, really.
so anyway, i realized that the lower part of the body (due to the immense pain) left me kinda semi paralyzed. thanks to rhon and sw for coming to my rescue and later assisting me out to my dad's car when he finally arrived. more discoveries over the next 2 hours, i'm not unable to lie flat down at all, i could barely walk without support, and sitting was the only position which offered the least pain and discomfort

mom had to take a couple of hours off so i could be sent to A&E.
meanwhile, my doctor was in the midst of a surgery and could not be reached. thank my lucky stars that the moment i reached however, he was out of the op theater and totally helped in skipping past all the other patients.
immediate consultation was great although it does feel a little bad seeing all the other patients sitting around, waiting for what seems forever.

mr doctor ordered a second xray before sending me off for blood tests and what nots
he offered me 2 options about a month ago:
(i) wait for the slip disc to miraculously heal on its own
(ii) surgery
and so, as quoted, i had just won myself a ticket for the op.
cheer for me wont you?
it was tough agreeing to the op on my mom's part, due to much apprehension

mel was warded at 7+pm, 28/8/2007.
parents stayed and left, angie came, so did eli, her mom and alastair, despite the time. thank you guys for dropping by immediately upon hearing my admission, it did comfort me much.
thank you love for staying till the wee hours of the morning so you could take care of me
sorry for not being able to fall asleep due to the shocks of pain every 5mins, the night was pure pure torture. i couldnt sleep at 180 degrees due to the pain and had to brave through the night at about 45 degrees.
i think poor angie got quite shocked by my twistings and kickings all night long.

day one breakfast was awful pancakes which i left untouched.
PS: oh but their apple crumble for deserts during dinner one particular night was FAB. evil alas and angie tried all means to trick it away from me!
mom came before work with all my nitty-gritty (read: fresh supply of clothes, toiletries, and my lovely smelly bolster)
angie came, followed by el, alas, ben and jo (with cuddly PATRICK THE BIG RED DOG!!)

rhonrhon, shaowen, sying, ifan and jy came from school after the GP paper.
mel was given : a bunch of pretty sunflowers, CLEO mag and sying's gameboy with mario and fifa! hahaha (:
this funny and crazy bunch of people stayed till almost 11pm and after they left, they came back again with a surprise= lots of FOOOD for a very famished angie boh. you guys are the love!

second night of sleep wasnt any better AT ALL.
after popping about 4 pills of the painkiller, i tried to find a better position to sleep in.
an hour of shut-eye later, i found myself waking up to extreme pain, and had to succumb to ringing for the nurse and asking for an injection (with a much higher dosage).
fortunately or unfortunately for me, the dosage lasted till about 4am before the pain crept back. i gave up sleeping and sat around at the corner of the bed or on the chair till morning, stoning and wondering when the pain was going to end

ifan and jy came around 8am+(?!), with the school uniform on. need i explain? hahas
bohboh came next (: then rhon (in her school uniform too, due to unforeseen circumstances at home HAHA) and shaowen.
they waited around and burned those awful hours (counting down to my op) by keeping me occupied. it really helps and i cant thank you guys enough for sticking by all that while!!

finally at 3pm+, the nurse came and told me i had to change to the surgery robe.
i was getting a lil jittery but it was only when the stretcher came did the whole reality sink.
while getting on the stretcher-bed and lying there with everyone around me felt extremely surreal. for the first time in my life, i felt helpless and terrified. and no, i couldnt help crying.
havent we seen through the eyes of characters in tv dramas, lying on the stretcher, staring up at the rows of lights and familiar faces as nurses push them along the hallway.
i've seen them myself this time.
cold and clammy all over, shivering despite the layers of blankets they draped over me.

and in to the operating area i went, leaving my mom behind.
the nurses checked and double checked my name and ic number, kudos to them for not wanting to operate on the wrong person... but then, i was really in pain from lying so flat, i was praying they would put me on anesthetic ASAP.
after inserting a bloody humongous tube for the drip (which REALLY hurts), i had to breathe in oxygen and i'm guessing it was anesthetic next cos i got totally knocked out.

i remember,
waking up hearing murmurs of the nurses, sounding so distant
eyelids struggled to flutter as my senses returned VERY gradually.
i remember,
my throat parched, although a bitter and pungent taste of medicine/chemical lingered.
i remember,
the nurses calling out my name and i wanted to say something to acknowledge it, but all i could muster was a feeble nod.
after what seems forever, i recall them telling me "ok melissa? you're ready to return to your ward", " we're going to push you back now ok?" i rememeber not replying.
i heard the sound of the stretcher hitting the operating theater doors as i'm finally let out.
i heard a great deal of voices/noises (in constrast to the operating room which was all hush hush), and a familiar voice (angie's) saying "hey, you're fine alright?", "i got you a present"
apparently she said much more :X i'm sorry i only heard about the present!! HAHA.

back to ward, where i was left very much sedated still.
everyone was there i presume. angie, ifan and jy, followed by my parents and sis, rhonda, sw, alas and gang fell in next.
and i woke up to a lively room with all the chatters and laughter (:

thank god, i'm ok.

BOHBOH THE LOVE: thank you for being the first one there the moment i'm out of the op theater. appreciate your effort in being the first to reach (besides my mommsy & daddy) and the last to leave every single day of my stay at the hospital. thanks for times when you tried to help me get some sleep when the pain was killing me late at night. LOVE YOUR SPECIAL GET-WELL-SOON balloon with my name (and 'you are loved') on it!

it's so cheery!
my aunt said it makes my area look like a baby's bed (:

ELI ze bestie: you! came down (with your moma) almost immediately after i hung up the phone, informing you. a pleasant surprise nonetheless (: you win the second visitor award lovely! thanks for all the support and encouragement you gave -bigg hugs-

PAU: you were great company! thank you for coming all the way down after your school. XOXO

ALAS, ELI and JO: love patrick the cute red dog and its extreme softness. even though i only know of CLIFFORD the big red dog, patrick gets my love all the same (: it's still sleeping with me on the bed at home now! (: and oh, thank you boys for visiting almost every night AFTER visiting hours. haha!

the IJ love!: you guys are the best, sticking by through almost every minute of the day/s. the entertainment you all provided really did much help in lifting my spirits. thank you for sneaking in all sorts of food (including GINSENG BBQ CHICKEN) hahaha. although SOME sit around playing their PSP half the time and totally ignoring me, it's the company that matters right?! :D

the UNexpected gang: (usha, waiji, jacc, kartini, siti, luv and lydia) although i doubt you guys will be reading this, i just wanna thank you all for the trouble you've taken to travel down and pay me a visit. despite not being exactly close knitted in class/school, y'all have written me simple notes and cards, and baked brownies + sneakers bar. i do appreciate them (:

last but not least, thanks to mr yip and miss baey for their visit on saturday morning. a cute pair they were, with mr yip's lame jokes about my slip disc in the container and miss baey's rolling of eyes. hahas. oh and, mr yip provided me with a rather evil suggestion as to what to do with the 2 month MC that the doctor might be issuing me. in case of nosy IJ teachers poking into this, ask me! :D
<3 the cute flowers they gave by the way.

this longgg and windy post has to end here.
sorry for the absence of photos of my 'removed' disc in its container, if anyone might be interested. but anyway, i think i've shown it to about the whole world and they were all rather intrigued by it.
meanwhile, i'm still recovering with a back brace strapped on for MAXIMUM support and MINIMUM movement. so pardon the sweater i'll be in 24/7, especially in school.

XOXO.

2007-07-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

oh my, this lil girl is brilliant.
a real tear-jerker. MUST WATCH!

2007-07-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

i just read bohboh's blog and she said something quite unexpected.
it feels real. i dont know, like i didnt know she felt that way.
but anyway, it does feel good to hear something honest and heartfelt after being in an environment which is so torturing to get through everyday, cause you hafta be careful of what you say and portray. it's just getting me so stressed up.
well i'm just glad i have you to sink my teeth into (:

Without fail, Mel makes me laugh everyday.
She's so adorable, I just have to kidnap her soon.
Isn't it amazing, I still feel this way after one and a half years

<3

2007-07-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

GERMAINE TAN IS BACCKKK!

a welcome back BBQ held at meyer road
eldric's recently acquired license= SCARY car rides
(alas you still owe me 300++ photos!)
shena left for aussie.
my horrendous prelim results!
harry potter was a disappointment ):
perfect weekend with the love, and more to come <3
all the trouble my dad went through to made a special arrangement with dr chin, i appreciate it.
XRAY finally taken at SGH last week.
MRI scan tomorrow at Raffles Hospital and i'm quite afraid, i dont know what to expect

2007-06-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

this is long overdued.
sorry lovelies (:

my 18th birthday:
(11th-12th june at no.40)
nicely arranged and captioned, finally.

ps: dont try the slideshow. it sucks

2007-06-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

today, my 18th (:

2007-06-11T01:29:00.001+08:00

today's the day!
i'm getting tingly all over from the excitement
but meanwhile, there're helluva things to settle ):

i hope the party turns out well and everyone will have a good time!!
-crosses fingers and toes

2007-06-09T01:30:00.000+08:00

okay, i have ALOT of things to blog about
no1. rhon rhon's birthday+ tons of pics
no2. my hugee family outing to malacca
no3. what else?

tomorrow morning, a appointment with the chiropractor, an amerrricaann
hope he's hot stuff :D
after which, another appointment with the chinese sinseh, a cheekopek look alike
oh you stupid back
mom's complaining cos you've been using up alot of her financials
i'm complaining cos you're such a pain in the ass

bohboh the love bought me a lovely katemoss dress today!

i seriously didnt think you'd buy it you know!
must have been possessed :D
but anyway, THANK YOU for the early gift!
and everything else today
you made me a HAPPY MEL (:

oh but then, i just saw this dress on the website
and it's the sex.

):

ps: I CANNOT WAIT!!

2007-05-22T10:48:00.000+08:00

basketball match on wednesday resulting in our absence for photo taking
got into shit without a doubt
BUT it was all worth it because IJ won (:
and he's so damn gorgeous.
now, dont you start getting jealous

cheerleading costume making marathon started on thursday
it was such a mad rush with jy and me sewing the pleats one by one, for hours
shaowen and ifan had to hunt for the elastic bands around woodlands
kat took the rest of the skirts home to continue with the pleats and bands, till 5 freakin am.
you go girl!
i had barely started on the suspenders when i realized that super glue do not work on cloth
it was left to the next afternoon, after GP prelim
14 pairs, 28 strips of elastic bands to be completed within 3 hours
trimmings on the skirts were not started on yet either
our labour force grew from 2 to 4 and finally 8 of us rushing to complete the costumes before 5
many thanks to our own cheerleaders and non-aquila memebers! you guys did a great job in putting everything together and making our costumes look fab just in time!
i swear the suspenders and pleats robbed half of our lives

and i have to say a big thank you to the lovelies! angie, kiat, and my two juniors
i'm really grateful for the trouble they went through to hunt and collect all the poms from their bougae cheermates and making sure i get exactly 14 pairs
thanks to kw for your lucky poms! thanks to kiat for running to and fro the really long potong pasir route to collect the bags of poms from cedar! thank you bohboh for carrying the gay poms from pp to woodlands! i owe you guys a treat, promise (:

my slipped disc was much forgotten as 5pm drew closer
the painkiller wasnt helping as yet and i reckon i looked somewhat constipated during the whole routine ):
BUT at least for that night,when the painkiller finally sinks in, it felt good being able to sit properly, walk properly and jump!

i'm not sure what went wrong but the results were disappointing
4th after all that turmoil we went through?
definitely not rewarding.
perhaps the fact that we got 2nd for our routine can serve as a console for us (:
we did good and i'm proud of every one of my cheer babies
lets keep the friendship going!

i think the painting's excellent, so much so it looks printed from afar

2007-05-07T00:36:00.000+08:00

cartel breakfast at gardens with the love (:
i seriously think someone needs to set up a place that sells great breakfast till noon. it helps alot for the lazy souls who simply love to sleep in.
swing by coffee bean, then town where we bump into the boys, kat and (soon to arrive) rhonda.
mel's place in the night for a couple of drinks before calling it a day (:

lil cousin got 1st in her PAP golf race by the way.
she looks absolutely adorable in that cap along with the trophy and pompom

2007-04-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

2 crazy bitches
40minutes journey
9 scoops of ice cream in
45 minutes
damage: ~~$40.50~~ NIL
ok, maybe except for that horrible overwhelming guilt )):

BEN & JERRY'S you make me go tralala :D
the best is yet to come,
marc jacobs! marc jacobs! marc jacobs!
i discovered love.

2007-04-16T21:04:00.000+08:00

i dont understand myself sometimes.
why bother keeping a blog when half the time, i do not pen down what i really feel or what i wanna say.
i bloody hate it when once in a while,
when i finally do indulge in my musing,
people start coming to me asking questions, expecting explanations.
like i ever owe anyone an answer to how i feel
ugh.

random thoughts aside,
cedar's cheerleading gonna happen this friday
and i cant decide whether or not to sxxx sxxxxx for it.

things to do:
1) lose a thousand pounds the minute i snap my fingers, seriously
2) finish up the piles and piles of overdued assignments
3) get a refreshing ~~haircut~~ fringe cut
4) save money save money save money
5) why are people so rich (aka KKW)
6) annoy ELItan because she has juicy secrets :D
7) figure out how to get myself into the club for nessa's and/or rhon's birthdays, without risking myself getting bounced and end up having to sit outside, by the curb, to savor their bday cake which they're gonna bring out for me
8) beg my maid to stop washing my shoes because i dont want to begin every monday with gleaming white shoes, thank you very much
9) stop dreaming about flying to japan or to any part of the world for that matter
10) dress like a geek and start going to school, bitch

i feel like there is nothing worth feeling.

out of my head, out of my bed
out of the dreams we had, they’re bad
tell them it’s me who made you sad
tell them the fairytale gone bad

2007-04-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

at 4am, i grudgingly trudged up the car along with huge sweaters
and my smellywelly bolster (:
my sister was nowhere near awake either
i slept, rather cozily amid all the sweaters and pillows strewn about in the back of the car, all the way to yong peng, JB

without the whole lot of cousins, this year's visit was not at all lively

i think my grandma is damn fucking cute
she looks like one of those teletubbies
PO maybe?

i hope my great grandparents are having a great time in the other world
like, testing out their new car or finally brushing their teeth with the newly(AND ANNUALLY) supplied toothpaste and toothbrush.
HAHA

2007-04-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

15 little pieces of aphrodisiac
your effort in painting a smile
they are all very much appreciated, really (:

some island love today
with rhon, ness and both the boys
the sun and clouds were not exactly cooperative
and it got us quite annoyed
but nevertheless, it was a day of leisure which ended off with a really relaxing shower at rasa's swimming pool toilet
seriously, hot water, hair dryer and a relatively dry floor seems a great deal to us then
it was a sneaky attempt but oh so successful :D
loves it.

♥

skinny boys ought to be shot! HAHA look at JY's uneven tan!

AND...
thank you so SO much for the lovely flowers
they really stole my breath away
champagne roses and purple crepes are always PERFECT
i wish they'd never ever wilt )):

happy 365days silly (:
LOVES PLENTYYY

people, focus on the beautiful roses

i seriously looked like crap in that

dinner at some german resturant which served really good sausages! :D
not to mention, the attentive service we were given
two thumbss up!
all thanks to you (:

but you know what, despite their excellent service
the waiter and waitress there CANNOT take a proper photo for nutss!
and it drives me mad ):

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!
omg i was hopping mad when i saw that photo because it was the last one my camera could muster before totally dying on me
DAMN.

resorting to handphone's camera

alrights. thats about it for my good friday
mel is dead tired and she has to wake up at 4am tomorrow
JBJBJB
good night folks (:

2007-04-03T22:18:00.000+08:00

i am...

tired
stressed
depressed
broke

2007-04-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

all hail the 1st to get to 18

JY's birthday celebration was considerably successful
the mini 'surprise' worked well,
with sying's WEAK ATTEMPT at distracting him with CRAZY TAXI -.- hahas!
ness's daring effort to switch off the classroom's lights with mr yip in class
and finally, ifan and i entering with the cake from the back

cake and gift card were presented with:
LOTSS OF LOVE FROM THE 5 of US
so i bet JY was touched.
right?!?!
you better be :D

dinner at marina bay/south at night
a moody beginning that soon warmed up to crazy antics
the many ouchs! each time we bbq something
so it was like..
spread the butter, ouch! put the meat. poke the meat, ouch!
poke somemore but further away. flip the meat, ouchh.....!!
OMG AND THERE'S ZE BLOODY CRAB!
i swear, i've already pulled the crab into half and was washing it
anyone would think it'd have been dead by then right??
i wasnt expecting it to move and hold onto my fingers with it's freaking pincers.
FUCKKK.
i am never ever ever going to wash any live crabs again.
oh and,
dont even remind me about the way i was using the chopper on it...

silly games played
forfeits went from eating excess bbqmeat, to leftover rice, and finally to the downing of beer
we laughed and shrieked to a point of puking
JY YOU OLD MAN! i do hope you enjoyed your birthday celebration :D

dont forget to start a countdown! 2 months and 10days!

RHONDA SAYS:
bye babies and have a good night (:

2007-04-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

secrets are hard but fun to keep
it's always good to know that there's someone there for you when everything else seems to be bleak
thank you for the many treats and attempts to make me smile (:

everyone has problems of their own
and it feels nice when we sit down & talk about them over dinner
yesterday was spent rather aimlessly
but i had a good laugh at mr clown and his afro
RHONDA TAN IS A BIG BULLY
she wanted to remove his hair, snatch the bird and poke him before running away

this i learn, good ice creams are the perfect way to end a day

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones

to you:
i'm sorry for a no returns of used tos. but you know we'll always be there for each other.
Sometimes time will treat you bad , before you even know what's wrong. And in the end it hits you hard. Please tell me you'll be strong
love

2007-03-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

so much for being friends.
it's such a simple thing, to respect one's privacy
i dont understand your need to resort to such measures
someday,
you should try putting yourselves in the other party's shoes

try

maybe then you guys will learn how to be sensitive
and that basic courtesy and mutual respect matters

2007-03-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

smile...
it confuses people

2007-03-08T12:17:00.000+08:00

i dont know if it's worth it anymore

2007-02-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

Finally, here’s the shit that has been bothering me.

A herniated (also called a slipped or ruptured) disc is a fragment of the disc nucleus which is pushed out of the annulus, into the spinal canal through a tear or rupture. Discs that become herniated are usually in an early stage of degeneration. The spinal canal has limited space which is inadequate for the spinal nerve and the displaced herniated disc fragment. Due to this displacement, the disc presses on spinal nerves, often producing pain, which may be severe.

Lumbar spine (lower back):

Sciatica frequently results from a herniated disc in the lower back. Pressure on one or several nerves that contribute to the sciatic nerve can cause pain, burning, tingling, and numbness that radiates from the buttock into the leg and sometimes into the foot. Usually one side (left or right) is affected. This pain often is described as sharp and electric shock-like. It may be more severe with standing, walking or sitting. Along with leg pain, you may experience low back pain. In response to this pain, the muscles of the back of the leg go into a tight spasm, especially if the sufferer continues to walk, because every step further stretches and irritates the injured nerve roots. (ZOMG yes! to those who asked how the pain felt, this's da sensationn yo.)

The fat and old ahsoh cannot catch up lah.

SO FRIENDS, I plead you to WALK SLOOWWERR.
Dont make me laugh so hard!
and pardon me for grabbing you when i sneeze
(vanessa ong! hee.)

And now comes the freaky part.

The diagnosis I predict SGH is gonna give:

CT scan/myelogram: A CT scan is similar to an MRI in that it provides diagnostic information about the internal structures of the spine. A myelogram is used to diagnose a bulging disc, tumor, or changes in the bones surrounding the spinal cord or nerves. A local anesthetic is injected into the low back to numb the area. A lumbar puncture (spinal tap) is then performed. A dye is injected into the spinal canal to reveal where problems lie

Oh godd )):

2007-02-25T15:27:00.000+08:00

there has been too many things happening in a flash and i can hardly recall the details. guess i'll just let the pictures do the job

valentine's day

chinese new year

flea market @ home club/ haji lane

shisha is charming.
which explains my desperate need for a return to that quaint little resturant

♥

2007-02-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

I@FUN finally came to an end last saturday

it was pure torture
starting with banner painting;

(with dog prints on it, paint drips/spills on it & a huge error in wording- spot it if you can)sexy Italian chef! mamamia~

selling of fries, hash browns and fried chicken during breaks and lunches over FOUR consecutive days just to fucking raise funds.

the rushed final preparations of stalls on friday;

after which, crossing over to JB for ingredients shopping at giant

the usual 5 stayed over at my place,
late rush to parkway giant for FORTY packs of pasta,
chopping of onions & garlic, working on milk and flour conoction, slicing of slimy fatty chicken meat all beginning at 11pm.
with only music for companion, work went on throughout the night.
but along the way, we lost ness, then sying and finally rhonda
together with the 2 boys, i soldiered thorough the night ):
barely awake, i can still remember...
the continous boiling of water, one kettle after another
throwing in pasta into pots, a pack after another
and then we wait
unknowingly, dawn breaks,
leaving us exhausted on the kitchen floor with trays of cooked pasta and glee in our hearts

2007-02-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

i love and miss all that goofiness

but i'll still hafta head down to the airport after school ends tomorrow don't i?
flight bound to aussie at 3pm
bon voyage to dear germaine
hope all goes well for her in melbourne
DARLING MAINE, YOU'LL BE GREATLY MISSED BACK HERE ):
i'm crossing my fingers and toes that both eli and i would be able to hold back our tears
but somehow, i know we eventually wouldnt

no more meet ups at lions' home, planning of thailand trips for our december vacations, birthday celebrations, xmas parties, and just plain hanging out
from our nerdzzz days till now
G.E.M, i'll never forget how much we've seen each other mature and grow

farewell party photos from eli will be uploaded soon as promised
and i've a feeling there'll be loads more from tomorrow too

XOXO G.E.M

more updates about I@FUN in a couple of days
stay around
love

2007-02-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

i miss old company

maybe thats why it feels better having kiat around in school
although i still cant get use to the fact that she's here in ulu pandan woodlands too

maybe thats also why i end up having a good time with the rest of them at maine's farwell party today
i cant remember the last time since the 6/7 of us met up

crazy things and loud people
weird songs and too much food
scattered balloons and handwrittenmessage under plates
candid photos and grouppie timer rush
all in the name of fun (:

maine, your 500kg worth of notes would most probably save my life
thank youuuu sweets!! LOVE YOU PLENTY PLENTY
and we'll all be there on monday afternoon to bid a teary farewell ):

TODAY'S PHOTOS WILL BE UP SOON
it's overwhelming

2007-02-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

early dismissal form taken today just for the fun of it
and just because i was feeling way too lethargic to stay in school anyway

happy birthday may be a friggin cheeeenaa movie
but it was one helluva tear-jerker
i sobbed my heart out, not cool.
how could they come up with such a heart wrenching storyline?
or am i just an emotional basket case??
sighs.

old airport road for some hawker food craving
we have to return for better luck next time (:

thanks for waking up at 4am just for a ride together
XOXO

2007-01-31T21:58:00.000+08:00

i finally decided to move my lazy arse down to the courts today. BUT, training just had to be so blah.
after 4 years of tennis training back in cedar,
the coach just blatantly put me to rally with the rest of the girls who are like, at the standards of....
( ok, be nice mel)
NOT AS IF I'M DAMN FUCKIN GOOD YES? (:
why does everything has to turn out so bad?
why do i have to always make the wrong choices?
oh well. i swear you wouldnt want me to elaborate.
so anyway, i knew i had to escape at 430 with sying who has been sitting at the courts waiting
thank god for you love!

no lessons this coming friday due to preparations for ij's open ceremony.
horray to more downloading of Lword (shaneee <3!)
and of course, there's the banner painting date at rhonda's house with the usual company
ness! dont go pineappletarts-baking lah! >.<

2007-01-29T21:51:00.000+08:00

(the 6th and final)

thanks love for the breakfast this morning,
it was yummylicious ((:
thanks ~~stranger~~ ash for the lil rose you got wilson to pass me
thanks hot sexy gp teacher who could relate to us,
at least it proves that there ARE a few sane teachers around in ij

this school seriously, is on the wrong frequency.

2007-01-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

i wont say much about today's PTM except that it went awfully bad
not because of the COMPLAINS, but rather,
because i felt totally maligned.
i wanted to defend myself so badly but i was afraid i'd just break down and cry
it's so me.
helpless when it comes to defending myself.
eventually, the tears flowed when i was safely back in the car

a million of kisses to those who kindly consoled or at least, acknowledge that what some of the teachers had said were total bullshit
sufi was being so sweet
cause even though i missed her first PM to me
she came to make sure i got it again,

hoe, hoe, hoe! says:
oh haha i pmed you on msn and said that i wanted to give you a hug *hugs*

hoe, hoe, hoe! says:
and that teachers in ijc stereotype people too much

hoe, hoe, hoe! says:
and that you deserve better

hoe, hoe, hoe! says:
((:

love her to bits and pieces.
and thanks to sying and jing yong too (:
i appreciate it, really

and where were you?
at kbox.

2007-01-27T16:13:00.000+08:00

honey, it's not there not anymore

and i wonder what it means to try
cos it still seems to be nothing like the way before

i guessed you wouldnt understand,
i was right
i guessed you would end up not doing the favour i asked of you,
i was right

and in the end, i guess you'll would tell me it's not your fault afterall,
prove me wrong.

2007-01-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

this is bad
now the four of us wants to migrate to AFRICA
do you still not understand how fucked up our lives are?
oh lord.

2007-01-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be

i'm feeling so sick and tired.
Really, i'd do anything, anything just to get out of here
the overwhelming crave for a total change of environment is killing me
given a choice, i'd throw everything down and run away
to sunny aussie, to colourful japan, to beautiful LA
fuck it.

It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

2007-01-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

I HATE THIS MONDAY.

the morning started off bad enough,
with the hearts of all four girls torn up as we discovered this:

HORROR OF HORRORS
dengzhi and his girl, el****

just pinch me somebody

a couple of photos were enough to trigger off hysterical shrieks along with angsty 'finger-jabbing and paper-whacking' at ness's laptop screen.
such a hilarious scene if you were standing by to watch
but alas,
heart-wrenching it was for us

TAN DENG ZHI;
my love from OCS
i'll always be your whitebag girl
( HAHA! now, dont get mad sying...)
and you'll remain my OH SO CUTE COMMANDO,
who walked alongside me for a lil chat that lovely day

and as quoted from ness, fellow victim of the heartbreak:

In Loving Memory
of
Tan Deng Zhi
5th July 2006 - 22nd January 2007

You will always be my #1 OCS Tour Guide & Commando.

R.I.P

anyone else who wishes to grieve,
siying says to call her at call 90186069 to confess
and email her at kill_elaine@hotmail.com
HAHAHA

on a more serious note,
THE FUCKING SCHOOL JUST SENT AN SMS TO MY DAD regarding this saturday's meet-the-parents session
LIKE HALLO, i've already received that filthy consent form/letter from you shitheads
isnt it enough?
whats up with the sms and wudsmore to my DAD?!?!?!
horray to finding out that both ness and rhonda's parents did not receive it
?@)&amp;*^!(#u&!#(*@
now what?
I AM GOING TO JUMP OFF THE SCHOOL BUILDING TOMORROW AT 7AM

i am not kicking up a fuss
you just have no idea how much SHIT the four of us have been going through
no thanks to deranged teachers

2007-01-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

a pair of peep-toe heels bought today
for less than 20 buckaroos
and it fits like heaven
way to go mel :D

cross country this wednesday!
three cheers to a stroll and photo-taking with the vegetation
before we hit the usual spots for post-xctry outing

lastly, my pop's new car is love
i feel all high and mighty up in there
but sorry for the good ol' camry which did serve well

back on smelly 966 in approximately six hours time
boo and boofrogs.

if i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me

2007-01-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

i love angie boh to the moon and back!
HAHA ;b

XOXO,
mel

2007-01-20T14:38:00.000+08:00

someone needs to convince me school isnt fucked up
that i am not losing my ground
someone's got to tell me the flu's going away
and that the fats are not going to stay

one may think we're alright
but we need pills to sleep at night
we need lies to make it through the day
we're not okay

i'm glad there are the girls
they make school life much easier to get by
there was one fine day when we popped by JB after school
here's overdued love

morning of JB trip 2!

the white card (:

an obsession with our new found ears

and then we hit it
<3 to sying's bro for ferrying us around in that dreadful storm

rhon.sying.ness

and what happens when the rain=flood=NO TGIF??
YUMMY fishheadcurry+ bbqstingray+ oysteromlette will always be there for you (:

after all that calculation, we realized the whole damn meal cost us only 6 SGD each!

omfg. i look so terrible in there ):
no thanks to mr. flucoughfever )):

2007-01-03T14:06:00.000+08:00

honey why are you crying is everything okay?

i gotta whisper cause i cant be too loud

well, my girl's in the next room

sometimes i wish she was you

i guess we never really moved on.

words choked by the tears
there was so much more i wanted to say,
to make you understand.

i wanted so bad to ask more about you,
to know what's running thru your mind as you lowered your head and refused to say a word
i wondered why you chose to keep your eyes closed
i wanted so bad to ask what was keeping you so occupied,
was i less interesting as compared to that phone?

i couldnt figure out the signals you were sending
they were contradicting baby
so contradicting they kept me up all night
maybe, perhaps,
i confused my feelings with the truth once again

i love the memory you gave me
it's been replaying, every single bit of it
you grabbed my hand and make me stay awhile longer
would you do it again?
although it wasnt exactly because you didnt want me to leave,
i could at least imagine so.
tell me it's self deception but i dont really care

do you think you could wipe those tears away for me the next time too?

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

2006-11-09T12:48:00.000+08:00

Anyway, if anyone so happen to be able to contact MELISSA YONG XINGZI
pls get her to call me.she's MIA-ing again!
for goodness sake, where the hell is she?!
wanna bite her head off!
grrrr.

HAHAHA.
eli tan's post was indeed amusing
-grins

2006-11-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

oh my gawd. im starting work tomorrow!
thanks to ness for her help! (:
so, it's polo ralph lauren no more
but MAX & CO. with ness this time
tho im still located at the lido
SAME SPOT ):
same level ):
one laura ashley away
but...
i guess it MIGHT of some advantage too,
since i'm all too familiarised with the area.
will it be...
the same isetan anthem every morn?
the same ANNOYING OLD WOMAN over the pa system
who cannot, i repeat, CANNOT speak nor pronounce properly for NUTSS?
( and im sure angie can vouch for that )
the same yummy black pepper chicken rice at the staff canteen?
hmms.

OP in the morn
MAX & CO for the rest of the day

wish me luck :X

OH by the way,
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FOLKS!

2006-10-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

We came together but you left alone

And I know how it feels to walk out on your own

Maybe someday I will see you again

And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

it's been quite some time since promos are over

i can still remember all that jitters

what a relief now that it's over,

but it'll not be long before the ordeal begins all over again, yes?

anyway, forgot to update on the mooncake festival bbq

on the friday our last paper ended, over at my place

everyone but ifan were present (:

nice of them to buy a huge box of mooncakes for my family

hahas

and of cos, besides friends, my (almost) entire family joined in the bbqing

balloons and lanterns up, garden lights and spotlights on, swing on the go (:

how lively a night, despite all that haze

to spread the joy, we held on to our lanterns and walked around the neighbourhood,

waving to every car that went by

hahas

after shower and dressing up in pjs,

we headed to suntec for late night movie

how others stared at such a sight -grins

promos results were out

kinda alright, failed only MORONIC maths

gp was amusing

yepps and that's about it (:

PW is HATE

and im sure that's an understatement

damnnit, just get it over and done with larrrr

chompchomp with rhonda, ness & angie last night

sinned.

and there was the surprising appearance of ness's army guy

hahas. target spotted, roger that

happy daze later and kept ourselves silly with 5,10,15

ness's place at 10pm to watch ANTM

furonda (the maid and the alien) please get out soon.

good luck with your job tomorrow (:

2006-10-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

here's something random which cracks me up

iie mihsh ue tuhh !!*
en sowihew fhurrdherhs lhate replhy tuhh xPP`
dhart dhaesae wahn corr miiesx bhack nhebar.
hhurmpsx ~

HAHAHAHA
saw this testimonial somewhere on friendster
goodness
this requires like, a thousand more amount of 'intelligence' to comprehend as compared to your usual GP comprehension phhreasee

here's another...

saee far nodd farr
saee nearrr nod nearr loo ...

HAHAHAHAHA. WTF?!?!?

if any of such earthlings happen to read this,
sowihew ar.
nno offencezZ.

2006-09-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

my mom. SUCKS.

she screamed at me for being fat
(like OK I KNOW I AM FUCKING FAT BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL IT IN MY FACE REPEATEDLY)
and so,
i said shut the fuck up
and told her that she's ugly and there's no hope for it .

EAT THAT BITCH.

so are yall gonna tell me off for being an unfilial daughter now?
dont bother, cos i've been hearing it for the past years
and your 'kindest advices' arent gonna make a difference

2006-09-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

some think too highly of themselves
some have no basic courtesy
some unbelievably pretentious

same difference,
it disgusts me.

2006-09-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

delifrance breakfast on a sat morn w the girls
and yes, it was operation db2
not exactly as thrilling as the first
nonetheless, worth it (:

the boys came,
so some of us attempted studying at starbucks,
while the rest went off for arcade games.

walked over to the oldfolks home at 2
work=
cleaning tables/playing 'floorball' with wheelchair bound uncles&aunties/ singing songs to them while they kept themselves so occupied with their dinner, we felt invisible ):

then, a few of us got so excited over cheena oldies that we ventured off to sing among ourselves in a horribly off-pitch and crazy fashion. poor wilson the guitarist.

and. we may very well be on tv next year!
how exiting (:
lets hope we would somehow STILL remember about it and check it out 4 months later

the usual gang headed for holland v after cip
wala, breeko, fos, wala
pizza, 4 bottles of stella artois, clothes tryingon spree, MORE drinks+ chicken wings + fav live band

cheers to angie's friend
somehow we managed to get 14 drinks at only the price of 6!!
-smiles secretly
he is ZE BEST!
yesyes i know.
you too, right?
hahas

and so we vow,
to bring wala down after 6oct.
yes girls?
for the time being...
cheers, to promos
pfft ):

2006-09-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

PHOTOS!
JB trip!

it was a great start to the month of sept
all thanks to lovely angie, rhonda ANDDD
most of all, to TAN SIYING!!
she's a great host and im sure the other 2 would agree w me, yes?
(:

it was a 1day trip packed w as much activities as possible
sying came down to causeway pt to meet us
and to bring us through the checkpoints.
finally after all the queues & bus rides, we arrived
walked over to this mee shop for a good breakfast,
before heading for city square to squander our moolah

come to think of it, it was funny how apprehensive we were
we were afraid of being robbed, kidnapped, & what have you
and so...
we went to jb dressing in our shabbiest possible,
clinged onto our SLING bags,
and tried to act as malaysian as possible
for a rough idea,
check out our photos for rhonda's 3quaters and flipflops! LOL.

after which, we went over to sying's hse to
rest/discard excess bagage/keep passports.
yummilicious bak ku teh for lunch!
thanks to sying's mummy for the treat (:
go-karts next!
which everyone but me went for
sying was friggin fast it scares me
angie was steady
and rhonda had a major accident
poor her and the tyres!
hahahas
baskin and robins ice cream after all that perspiration!
OMG. strawberry cheesecake is H E A V E N
i want more!!!! it's a crave damnnit.

more shopping and finally......
it's TGIFRIDAYS for dinner!!!
pray, everything was ORGASM INDUCING i swear
as quoted from rhonda darling,
'TGIFriday's - where we got high and ate like monsters'
margaritas were our booze for the night
their portions really do make spore's margaritas luk miserable
ok, seriously go refer to the photos (:

PS: forest got so high, she was almost drunk.
though she's still adamant that she WASNT, yes forest dear? hahas

on the whole,
i had gRRReat fun with all 3 of them
and we all wish vanessarun was there (:

okok. here goes:

part of sying's blog entry:

I CONCLUDE JB ONEDAY TOUR -
SHOPPING AND MAKAN A SUCCESS!!!!!!!
okay mel angie and rhonda came over ytd and we went
MAKAN shop MAKAN shop then MAKAN again
mel bought HEELS, PANTS, SLIPPERS, indianchips,
CHANEL SHADES (HAHAHAHA)
and PLAYBOY HP CHAIN (actually angie) HAHAHA!!!
the playboy thing is SSSSSOOO nice please.
OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!! plus her CHOCOLATE PHONE!!!
that biatch!!!!
RHONDA bought HEELS, PANTS, SLIPPERS, indianchips
and A GO-KART BANGING EXPERIENCE
and A NEAR-DRUNK experience!!! hahahahahahahaha
STUPID GIRL CANT HOLD HER ALCOHOL!!!!!
ANGIE literally BOUGHT NOTHING FOR HERSELF.
just NIKE SHADES!!! AND GO-KART EXPERIENCE!!! :)))
FUN FUN FUN!!!! yays!!!!
AND I THE HOST. who freaking LIVES in malaysia
DISCOVERED THINGS i usually dont,
there's really plenty of things i didnt know that even exist.
anyways I BOUGHT... GUCCI SHADES(HAHAHA!),
NIKE DUNKS(HAHAHAHA!), shirt, slippers
and a whole lot of FUN FUN FUN!!!! yeahs!!!!!
i go-karted ATE THE BEST ICE-CREAM IN THE WORLD.
oh my STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE ICE-CREAM FROM BASKIN AND ROBINS!!!!!!!
OH GOD. i love my dunks, my mom for being so nice to fetch us ard!!!!
then my dad who bother to give me $$$ to buy those dunks
and my brother who TRY to be nice to my FRIENDZZZ.
hahahahalove you guys
SHALL POST THE PHOTOS UP SOON!!! :)

for the photos, refer to sying's blog

and here's part of rhonda's entry:

our one day JB trip was a success! thanks siying for making that day happen and for being such a good host. at first we were all kind of scared of the people there but we had so much fun at the end of the day. we had good food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. to top that, we had baskin and robins ice-cream! strawberry cheesecake and chocolate with peanut butter. yummm (: go-kart was extremely fun till i banged into the tyres and almost flew out of the car. hahaha. the highlight of the day was at TGIFriday's! and i will repeat for the 100th time - I WASNT DRUNK :( haha. we had a rockin' good time. here are the pictures!

2006-08-29T00:57:00.000+08:00

Applaud please.
mel survived today
no it's not just any other day
today's a TRAUMATISING day where lessons end at 7.10
7.10 freakin PM OK!
it is a miracle that i actually went for all lessons diligently
no skipping of lessons
no chaoing of school
hey, i didnt even skip the dammnit dreaded
ONE N A HALF HR math period alright!

goodness
mel oh mel. you amaze me so
-grins to self

ok larr,
i know having lessons till that ungodly hour may be nothing to geeks out there
but hallo, it's me we're talking bout now
the mel who hasnt handed in any math assignment...
since the beginning of this year.
the mel who SKIPS ECONS to STUDY ECONS/DO ECONS WORK
(like wuds the logic behind it, i dont know. hahas)
and the mel who chao school but come back later for PE
(?!?! this is worse i know)

aiights enuff.
i see a trend..
it seems to be getting from bad to worse
i ought to stop listing (:

2006-08-28T12:19:00.000+08:00

oh my
this's exciting!
the usual 4 are going for brazilian waxing this thursday!
yes,all together :D
lets just pray it's not gna hurt

ooh angie, you can join us too if you like
hee (:

2006-08-27T18:20:00.000+08:00

Open the curtain,

Let some light in,

I feel so grey,

The world got smashed to pieces,

And put back together

The wrong way.

i want my chocolate.

cmon mel!

just 90 moolah to go (:

2006-08-25T12:50:00.000+08:00

As we all know,

school gets really stressful after awhile...

hence, we'll understand if anyone starts acting

a lil weird

or a lil out of this world

so we just got to make the best out of everthing

and have some fun (:

2006-08-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

THIS. is my love
catch it (:

ADASTRA!
racial harmony day anchor event
collaboration w chong boon sec school
it was hard work
but ultimately,
WE HAD FUN :D

2006-08-01T09:25:00.000+08:00

dead. tired.
school's sucking the life outta me
esp when my day ends late w cheer pracs
tho the rhd event is over,
there's another upcoming performance for our sch's ndp celebration
and ours would be the finale event
nice (:

so pleaseee people, dont skip sch on the 8th
or we'll be performing to nobody

oh but,
it might be a gud thing that most people are absent larr.
then it wouldnt be dat scary to be performing in front of the entire school
ah ha

so anw..we've been going thru crash courses
technically, there're only 2 more pracs before the event
and we're desperately lacking of guys after the j2s left
so the stunts arent as spectacular as rhd's.
-pulls face

gowri's being quite a bitch
apparently she tried calling my house and my mom
but noone answered
(obviously, since i gave angie's number as my mom's )
so yes,
she got quite fed up and told me ytd during assembly that she'd call my mom, my dad and everyone (meaning: home, i spose -.-)

yeah whatever.
she might as well call my goldfish too
-rolls eyes

but anywayy, i dun think it's all that bad
cos i've only been ponning sch thrice each month
THRICE only okayy.
dats so friggin acceptable in my context
and for her subject, geog
i've been doing fairly alright so far
so there should not be any complains about my geog
nothing much for lit or econs either
maybe only math (kumar! ugh),
ahh but for that, wuds new (:

see? so actually im quite a good student whatttt
hahahs
oh wells

stupid gowri.
-scowls

2006-07-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

thailand photos are up!
click your way around (:

2006-07-25T08:26:00.000+08:00

HA!
today's officially our class's mass ponning day
mouse, ifan, nas, van, rhon, sying, me!
dats the class spirit :D
actually it's becos they were in sch at 7 for inter-class games..
and thus, decided it'll be too tired for them to attend lessons.
oh and we suspect saranea & usha's not attending sch either.
okayy. so here we are at macs rotting
kinda freakin out too,
cos we're weighing da chances that gowri might phone our beloved parents.

nasri:
hahaha..see...this is major class spirit!!we rock!!haha!!!

JingYong:
yeah we RAWKSSS... We r the IJ greatest bunch of slackerz!!!

RHONDA:
hiiii. frisbee was fun this morning!
41A ponning session!
my leg is aching.
today's fun fun fun funnnn. yay (:

ness the pest:
HARRO, I AM VERY PROUDZ OF 41A.
BUT PLEASE REMEMBER TO DO YOUR LITERATURE HOMEWORK.
K THNX!
XOXO

xiaofan:
YO!! its celebration! won sagi 2-0!!!
keep up the gud work guys.

sying:
SIYING YOU TOTALLY ROCK!!!!
SUPER PRETTY LA!!!!
i love YOU!!!

2006-07-23T15:31:00.000+08:00

ive not been clubbing alot these days pleasee!
to those who think i have been,
so wrong (:
the last time i went was lyk, almost 2 months ago??
ho hum.

anywayys.
racial harmony day anchor event ytd was great :D
poor mel woke up at 430 cos sch's at the other end of spore
and we gotta reach sch by 630
cab fare was heart wrenching :(
i was the earliest, 6 friggin am okay?
both ways it was a miracle -.-
when everyone arrived,
we stretched, final run thru of stunts and routine
and then, to the dance studio we went
where we changed and got ready
makeup goldribbons glitter
oh what fun
it was nice seeing everyone getting all hyped upexcitedfidgetypanicky
went wild taking wacky photos
finally, upon the arrival of the minister
the stage was ours (:
soooo glad everything went well
all stunts up and coordinated for the first time
the entire routine was smooth and errorless
(except for a littleee glitch during single extension)
besides that...
it was awesome, a great deal of achivement
-big fat grin
the minister was impressed no doubt (as according to mrs oh)
so at least everyone's hard work paid off
ooh whee dats the ultimate feeling

met up with elvis since she's also in sch (:
the place was overwhelmed with humans
particularly primary school kids
but i must say, the sch looked really nice
especially the canteen and the stairways

after the whole event,
met up with kiat at causeway (:
then, elvis elvis's tp friend kiat and i headed for town
to meet up with angie, rhon and van
ha. it was a crowd all right

flea market
subway
swensens
home

and now, j2s are leaving us
ndp performance in sch would be left to us, j1s
short of our strong and experienced j2 guys
i really hope we can make it
only 2 more weeks!
ahh. a scary thought.
-shivers

2006-07-20T08:19:00.000+08:00

racial harmony day anchor event this sat!
im getting those butterflies in my tummy
training has been rather tiring but somehow it doesnt feel enough
some stunts still cant be executed well
but anywayys, just hope all goes well on that day (:
ps:
ooh im finally gonna meet my silly frog on sat
cya elvis!

OMG.
sying msged deng zhi while at the track and field finals ytd
a pity i missed it cos of cheer prac
i really wanted to goooo
boo.
so yes, and according to her,
" cb. he remembers that you are the one w the sister in ahs"
hahahas
dengdeng remembers meeeeee!! :D
yayness :D

cause there are these nights when

i sing myself to sleep

and hoping my dreams bring you close to me

are you listening?

2006-07-18T10:41:00.000+08:00

oh man. it's been long
internet at fault hence my absence see (:
so yes
lots have been happening
major events i can rmb would be..
my lovely bday! heh (:
party @ dxo w forest,et,angie ((:
officer cadets' social night w louis @ tanglin club
the dreaded SUMMER TEST! :/
SAFTI!!! (omg. MY deng deng!!)
and most recently, eli's bro wedding @ raffles town club

right. aint gonna elaborate cus it'd be too much
uploading the pics soon
a picture paints a thousand words eh
till dens!

2006-06-02T08:30:00.000+08:00

aiights!
off for my much needed retail therapy in..
2 hrs time -grins

dont miss me people
oh and. dont worry either
there'll be prezzies when im back larr
hahas
so yeah, till dens!

toodles (:

2006-06-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

hallo aisha dear!
yes lets meet up soon!
omg. i miss you so!
you shall receive a text from me real soon
LOVE YA :D

2006-06-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY!!
to dear aiai rhonda tan
aka forest (:

we had supposedly planned a surprise for her
but somehow, due to stupid lit and emergenetics
things got screwed up
and to make matters worse,
poor rhonda was..
well, she wasnt feeling too good ):
mm shant elaborate on it
lunch at pasta m with ness, siying, angie
and of cos, the birthday girl
lotsa laughter and nonsense
(with siying around, lyk duhhh~)
hahas
mad people with fake yellow noses that arent breathe-able
noisy noisemakers meaning, paper trumpets
mini confeitte and streamers
oh what fun,
and how gay everything sounded
they remind me of parties back in childhood
naive, carefree and sheer joy

so anywayys,
ness n i went ahead for the useless workshop.
angie accompanied the bday girl to ecp,
to meet kat
and they happily went bowling, pool-ing
while two poor souls were suffering in sch
trying their very best to keep awake and not stone
seriously, ness n i were literally zombiefied.
and i wasnt looking, but gaaaziing.
hahas
thanks to e.t.'s shoulder on the way to parkway (:
gathering at macs
and that spells an end to the celebration.

before i end, here's a peep to today's celebration (:

lovely (:

happy sexy seventeen birthday babe!
*mwakss*

cranky earthlings

all of us! -beams

2006-05-28T12:15:00.000+08:00

too often
i see people out there trying
trying too much,too hard.
might it be amusing?
or simply pathetic?
it depends
im glad to be just sitting down here
watching the world go by
and the drama unfolds

you're so mockable.
your face, i cant stand
it's bloody distracting,
and you better believe it.
but wait.
it's your miserable way of labelling people as your own
dat truly brings the smirk out of me.
like as if you even know the person well, hallo?
it doesnt matter if you've got the moolah seriously
cos other than that, every part of you is
oh-so-pathetic

burn bitch burn
to start off with, we had nothing against each other
but you had to stick your
funnyface (quoted sandran(: )
into my life
and find faults which i had nothing to do with
you chose to think the faults lie with me
(that ive caused it all or something)
and start your silly lil acts.
childish i must say.
considering the fact that i am much younger
(pls note: and thus, that makes you..?)
so yes, and now.
i DESPISE you

figure that.

im being caustic here
so shut up
and leave me alone with my cynical thoughts

2006-05-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

a day of pure bliss i must say
((((((((:

does dat show how contented i am?
-BEAMS.
i love the feeling.
love it, miss it, crave it

Pour some Dom Perignon
and hit the lights out.
Baby we can make sweet love.
Then we'll take it nice and slow.
I'm gonna touch you like you've never know before
we're gonna make love all night

corny as it sounds
i really did wish time would stop

2006-05-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

mel met cherrmummy at j8 today!
& she hugged the breath outta mel :D
laters, we coincidentally took the same bus and chatted happily home
i miss you!
SA vice cheercap!
hahaha
see you around aiights..
o's cert!
((:

2006-05-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

You love me
but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me
but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know

You love me but you don't know me

There is always someone to blame
For the things you do yourself
You think that everything that's going wrong
Is because of someone else

And you're trapped inside this world you made yourself

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

3 doors down

2006-05-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

Maybe i shouldn't take this seriously,
i should just go with the flow and relax.
Maybe, I should keep my hopes up
and pretend that all things will sort themselves out in the end.
And maybe somewhere, subconsciously,
it's actually because I can't find my trust anymore.

2006-04-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

You grew up way too fast

And now there's nothing to believe

And reruns all become our history

A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio

And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time

But I don't need the same

It's lonely where you are come back down

cedar. the comfort i get from back there. no not the entire part of it, but when i know i can just turn around...and smack aishaparrtner's arse, exchange breathetaking hugs w cherrmummy, hook arms w eli tan, smell the distinct ralph lauren on elvis, hear fatima's screamings or exclaimation of some sort, get tickled by bellawella, see hairin delivering smoochies to people in klass randomly n suddenly,and the list goes on.

these days, im feeling so stifled. restricted n restrained. and when i glance around me, i find myself looking into the eyes of strangers. the crowds of human. blurred faces. mocking gazes. the plastered smiles. courteous conversations. the strained emotions. people whom i not know n will never know. people who judge with childish minds. people who think they know it all. people who think they understand.
to talk, it has become a burden. tryin hard to make everything sound nice, putting words together so they would come out right. if not, triggers a game of broken telephone. oh the complications..

it's choking me.

2006-04-25T00:07:00.000+08:00

You grew up way too fast

And now there's nothing to believe

And reruns all become our history

A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio

And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time

But I don't need the same

It's lonely where you are come back down

cedar.
the comfort i get from back there.
no not the entire part of it
but when i know i can just turn around...
and smack aishaparrtner's arse,
exchange breathetaking hugs w cherrmummy,
hook arms w eli tan,
smell the distinct ralph lauren on elvis,
hear fatima's screamings or exclaimation of some sort,
get tickled by bellawella,
see hairin delivering smoochies to people in klass randomly n suddenly,
and the list goes on.

these days, im feeling so stifled
restricted n restrained.
and when i glance around me,
i find myself looking into the eyes of strangers.
the crowds of human
blurred faces
mocking gazes
the plastered smiles
courteous conversations
the strained emotions.
people who i not know n will never know
people who judge with childish minds
people who think they know it all
people who think they understand

to talk, it has become a burden
tryin hard to make everything sound nice,
putting words together so they would come out right
if not, triggers a game of broken telephone
oh the complications..

it's choking me.

2006-04-18T09:44:00.000+08:00

im updating! yes, like finally :D
using dex's labtop in the canteen w him rotting beside me
muahaha
okiess. wud do i hafta say about life in innova

ONE.
it sucks havin to pulll my arse outta bed every morn
and having only half n hr to get ready
and getting my dad to chase aft 966 on days when it comes earlier than usual
or when im late cos i cant pin my currypokhair properly,cant find my pe shorts, cant fit the lens on my freakin eyeballs

TWO.
pe is HELLLL can
it's all about running
and running.
and running.
oh but, so far so good
cos ive ponned lyk, 4 consecutive sessions
with no mc
hallelujah

*edited* due to some nosy s**t.

FOUR.
angelinA boh.
ah ha
she's w me on montuewedthursfrisatsun
basically, i see her EVERYDAY

-AANGIEE invades. I absolutely love my unglam best friend, check out friendster! (:

rolls eyes.
so yes, as i was saying..
we're either at
causeway parkway j8 town airport hollandv
i dunno, where else?
north south east west
we've been to all!
see, best frens rock :D
watched 4movies in 7days
she stayed over at my place on 2nights, consecutively
hahas
oh damn.
and she's gg to bangkok with me n my family this june!
WAH LAUS.
stalker larr angie
-smirkss.

FIVE.
camp this friday!!!!
dreading?
maybe.
cos my weekend's burned.
BOO

SIX.
i love my aiais!
rhonda ROCK
mel STONE
vanessa PEBBLE
((:

the end.

2006-04-01T14:38:00.000+08:00

oh my.
cheerleading on thurs was such fun!
dats is, excluding my contacts problem halfway thru prac
so anywayys.
stretching was hell
felt as if all my veins were pulled to their tightest and on the verge of snapping
arghs. *grossalert.
we started on the basics..
jumps,shoulder stand,shoulder sit,elevator.
i missed shoulder sit cos of mr dumb left eye! -scowls
(i dont know why my eye's a MR and not a MISS)
but elevator was pure adrenalin rush please :DD
from the croutching/squating position to shooting/standing up,
the feeing was too good to be true,
lyk whhfoooaa! -beamss
now, you must understand dat i've only been a base so far
never a flyer
so yes, now i get the feel of it
flying rocks lyk anythingeverything
pigs can fly
so can i
wahaha.

im so luking forward to next thurs :))

and. i realise, ive been hanging out w angie n jo chan quite alot these days
hahas
not dat im complaining tho
cos them both are REALLY nice n sweet human beings
love lovess :))

airport on mon w angie
swensens mint! superb cann.

fareast on tues
met up w joyce n keli
innovians would include noel, dex, angie
subway+gelare+lotsssaa laughingtears

xctry on wed
you seem so near, yet so far. as always.
but it was nice enuff
watching you turn your back on me.
year after year,
it was nice enuff
standing at the end point
watching you run
escaping.
it was never really nice
aiights. quit emoing.
after all that baking and rosting under the evil sun,
a shower was very much needed
so it was jo's place, before hitting town
do what the roamers do in town
roAm. (:

mos lunch on thurs
back to school for cheer prac
thank gawd they ended early at 730+
so i could meet up w a, j, shh.

town on fri w angie n jo
dinner at parkway's crystal jade
my infected eye was annoying da hell outta me pls
stupidsoreloser.
boo you.
GAH. why am i not making sense?
becos im rushing for time.

today's sat!
and the hollaback semifinals jus started 20mins ago
at the padan
and im kicking myself for giving it a miss
cos IJ's participating
hey, dey entered semi w the highest score ookay!
how cool is dat huh.
anywayys.. im off to the airport now
to study and hunt for my pilot husband
goodbye.

2006-03-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

fortunately or unfortunately,
im in aquila house.
it's the colour of blue by the way.
wellsss.
unfortunately,
becos it's a loser house w a captial L
last yr, dey were ranked first from the back
and. uh. i dunno wud else
but from the way people chuckled when i said im in aquila..
it doesnt seem too fantastic
and as for fortunately...
i cant think of any points yets.
ah ha.

so anywayys,
a bunch of us met at macritchie for trial run on sat
lyk some form of practise
i didnt want to turn up initially
ahh. but i decided to quit being sucha lazy arse
in the end??
i had to wait for 0840712years before everyone arrive
for once im early yes?
hahas
aye but it was sposed to be at 9, den 10
and finally, dey arrived at 11+!!
tskkk.
thank goodness angie came early to meet me,
so i wldnt luk completely pathetic standing arnd alone,
pretending i was there soley to breathe in fresh air.

ok. so the run was bad.
i mean, im bad.
but then agains..
how is it possible for normal breathing flesh and blood earthlings to run up down and around in a timing of lyk, 17-18mins?!
madd.
hail those mighty knees feet joints and whatever.

laterss, travelled to holland v w angie
studied at da cosyhotlousyaircon starbucks
somehow, da aircon chose to be kranky
and we had to psycho ourselves
i say, BRR it's cold in here.
[hah! i miss cheerleading ): ]
econed & geoged till we were famished
crystal jade for dinner cos ive got a splendid voucher :D
and denss. time to hop over to wala!
tralala~
sat arnd downstairs while waiting for angie's fren to arrive
and her lovely name happens to be MEL too!
see why i say it's lovely? *chuckles

we were lucky cos we got to skip the long queue,and enter the bar upstairs almost immediately
sat right in the front, under the noses of the live band
rock music (:
tho i'd have preferred emo
ahh wells.
it was gud anyhow ((:
drank quite alot!
tho angie insisted she drank lotss more than me
which is, ok larr, true
hahas
oh and! dere's this tom guy!
hahahas
angie, he's O L D phhleeazze
lyk late 20s?!
wudsmore,
he's still searching for gaypartner named, jerry.

and the night ended in a tipssyydipssyy fashion
loudness, incoherence, missing final&last bus hm
haiiiyos.
stoppthepukee...
it was a gud attempt! *beams to self

i think keli,noel,dex,joyce's church rock
lyk totally
everyone's so full of love for god
it kinda amazes me... (:

saturdaynight dinner w my parents
ooh lovelovess tempura icecream~~
thumbs and toes up!

muahaha. i love doing this to hungry people ((:

2006-03-16T21:57:00.000+08:00

boo.
it's queer how im feeling so lethargic these days
so easily lethargic i mean
i came home at 3pm one day,
and found myself awake only at 10
i remember sleeping in ij's canteen a dozen times. already.
i was half asleep while walking arnd parkway w keli n gang.
slept at yoshi while everyone else were happily eating.
slept on the bus while on the way to holland v
my eyelids went on a strike on my way to skool this morn
they seemed stuck, glued, taped, whatever.
i slept in the canteen agains when dexter n fren were messing w da guitar.
even now dexter thinks i sleep everywhere i go
not true!
ahh those cedar days..
the nights're forever young
i could be buzzin arnd the whole day,
and i wldnt be in bed at 2am still.
shit. i suspect im aging. rapidly.
-exhales in long breath. haiiiiiis.

but anyhow. i think the past few days have been rather eventful.
met up w louis on tues for dinner/gorging session
we consumed alot.
ehh no, correction, he did. haahs
first it was mui fan + hor fun
den walked down for ba chor mee
and walked even further down to the beach for dessert
but ended up eating satay.fried oyster. qing teng.
OMGOSH. so full canns!
-stares at expanded tummy
sobs.

wed.
skool in da morn.
hang arnd before mel, keli, noel, dex cabbed down to east coast beach
two of their frens joined
so 7 happy earthlings went cycling
all the way to mars! -beams.
tsk. i mean tanah merah larr
and ah. my bum was krazily S O R E :(
roamed parkway laters.
5 of em yoshi-ed n crapped.
change of location againss..
took 48 down to holland v
cos noel successfully persuaded us to go rot at his place
met up w another 2 of their church frens
dinner at crystal jade xiaolongbao!
i lyk :D
la mian! xiao long bao! nice smelling drunken chicken!
and one of the church fren was sucha nicee guy,
he forked the dinner bill!
if you're ever gonna read this (dat is ),
thank you YOU! (:
shopped arnd before heading over to noel's place
it's kinda cool dat his parents are often overseas
dat lucky cow.
so yes, everyone conquered the living room
love the aircon
love the no lightss
love the surround sound system
love the dvd we were watching
love the snackie snacks
best of all, there's 48 straight home (:
tho we scared ourselves silly on the way out to the bus stop.
but whoever says you're not spose to luk at tress in the night anywayys?

today.
8-12 continous lectures
h1 math. h2 geog. h2 lit.
break.
ate pad thai in skool but i swear im nvr gonna touch it ever ever agn!
it made me SO queasy i could puke anytime.
booboo.
got persuaded to walk to causeway pt w dexter n fren,
and we were spose to be baq in 1.5 hr's time for econs lect,
but becos of dexter and his extra bowl of yoshi rice (LOL)
we decided to just skip it since we were running late.
baq to ij agains (taking our own spicy time)
slacked in the canteen while the (most prolly) whole batch of j1s were in LT1
rest of the day was rather aimless restless.
and i think dexter's one funny monkey.
he's lyk really hilarious i could laugh till my tummy hurts
AH.
so how??
call police!
transfers call to ambulance
transers call to IMH
hahahas
crrrrappp.

2006-03-11T20:46:00.001+08:00

a few innova pics!
click here

gotham with my partygirl weii laterss
ooh la la (:

2006-03-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

Every afternoon
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do

2006-03-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

by the way. i think i forgot to mention this.
i proudly annouce that i've declined CJ's acceptance of my appeal.
aiights.
shoot me if you're one of those dying by the phone while waiting for cj to call
no, wait.
why shud you shoot me??
me declining= 1 more vacancy for you!
ah ha.

anyhow. here was how the conversation went:

-handphone goes ring ring-

me: *stares at unknown number*

me: hello?

angmoh sounding guy:
hi. i'm hjfiewhrhe calling from catholic jc
-i cant recall his chim name lah-

me: ohhhh...*pretends to be enlightened* uh. hi!

angmoh guy: .....are you still interested in joining us at catholic jc?

me: *stunned* oh. uh yes but well, i've also appealed into IJ and they've accepted me. so i'm there for the orientation in the meantime
- i have no idea if my answer's a yes or no-

angmoh guy: ........................so it'd be rude if you're going to tell the skool that you want to get out when you're already in there.....

- i totally cant rmb what he said cos my mind was in a whirl and this guy was so not helpin!-

me: hahas. oh. oh yeah.. i guess it'd be rude if i do so... uh,so i'll stay in IJ?

-tryin hard not to sound so fucking lame-

me: *quickly adds* but. jus to know, am i actually accepted by your skool??

angmoh guy: yes you are.

me: *screamsss. breatheesss. hyperventilatesss*
oh no. gosh. hahas. ok, thanks so much
...............
-and my mind blanked out-

lyk, OMGAWD!
there wasnt even ample time for me to think and make a decision.
it was a situation which was lyk,
*snaps fingers*
tell me NOW.
yes i have been weighing the pros and cons for days,
but when it boils down to a 5 secs situation,
it wasnt possible to think straight.
didnt know how to react, what to respond.
swear i felt lyk killing myself.
i mean, i studied hard for my o's cos i knew i have to and need to get into CJ since i've come to the painful realization that SA's far-off for me base on my intellectual abilites.

and i cant believe i gave it all up.
chose to appeal,to stay in IJ
dont get me wrong,
im not saying that IJ's bad and all,
but i had 2 reasons for choosing IJ.
one of which may seem irrational,
and im not even certain if it's worth it.

but heck, we live life only once
and im gonna risk it this time round.
Life is so complicated.
You can never fully predict the extent of your choices.
also.
i know that, in fact, no matter which jc i got posted to..
i would still end up wanting to get into IJ.
sad but true.

hence, as i've told my IJ friends,
since i'm alr in here, might as well just stay and be happy
Choosing another path wouldn't have put you in a better situation.
It just means you haven't reached that special point where you can look back and see that everything in your life made sense.

i really hope everything'll turn out alright

I'm

living

for

the

only

thing

know